This blog was written on 6th September 2008! A trip down memory lane.
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Every Friday night, a customer who is struck with life-long constipation visits Tescos, picks up a packet of laxatives, and between the health and beauty aisle and the bakery, pockets the tabs of pills inside.
The empty packet is left somewhere in either aisle 35 or 36.
A coworker revealed this to me, on Thursday, after finding two packets in different locations in what can only be described as a “bad day” for the customer in question.
There are many theories behind this. It may be a customer who really does suffer severe constipation all of the time, and maybe every Friday night sees a spike in the sales of prunes. Maybe the customer in question is a clyptomaniac and revels in the thieving of these tablets every single week.
At £1.75 a packet, it is a fairly cheap way of becoming regular.
And, according to the packet, they provide “gentle, predictable relief” to constipation.
Personally, I don’t want to be within sight of the person who has bought the “abrubt, out-of-freakin’-nowhere” relief tablets.
Perhaps those tablets should be forwarded to the track athletes training for 2012?
It’s a bit like the whole Nurofen Plus saga. Apparently they get rid of your headache twice as fast.
Which is excellent. But it also begs the question as to why normal Nurofen still exists. Not many people will be of the mindset “I have a stonking headache but I’m not too bothered if it goes or not”.
Anyway, this constipated customer is now quickly gaining legendary status amongst a few of the bakery / bread and cakes employees. We are now all going to be on the lookout for them.
We may be able to spot them from how they walk. Alternatively, we could remove all of the packets from the shelf and wait to see who enquires.
To be continued….
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What a life I had!
